Hey all. So I decided to make a blog for my fellow CFTMers to read. Maybe enjoy. Probably make fun of me for.

Dear Carlos Mencia,

Since you love stealing ideas from other comedians so much…why don’t you steal a bit from Mitch Hedberg…O.D. and die!*

Love, Jess

P. S. I don’t like you. Nyah nyah.

Now that that’s out of the way…

I was just invited to The World’s Biggest Simon Says Game, which will take place this Saturday at Peden Stadium. At first, I was like “Cool! I love me some Simon Says!” But then I saw that they are charging $5 to play. WHAT?! I’m pretty sure this game was played for free back when I was a kid. Oh, the good ol’ days. Now we can’t even play simple playground games without shelling out the dough. (Hey guys, should we start charging people to play Fish?)

While the $5 is enough to make any college student cringe, I admit it is going towards a worthy cause: Athens High School Boys’ Basketball. I imagine their high school is similar to mine in that they’re, well…poor as fuck.

Also, every participant apparently gets a free t-shirt. I don’t see how they are ordering 1,400 t-shirts (their desired turnout) but whatev. As long as I get one, damnit.

So needless to say, you will find me, at 11 am on a Saturday morning…probably hungover from Friday night’s pirate party…playing Simon Says with hundreds of other hungover college kids on a football field. As Kevin would say, “This is the true college experience.”

Later days

*RIP Mitch Hedberg. I adore you, but not that douchemonkey Mencia.