So I’m on the bus to go to class today, and I’m wearing one of my favorite bras. It’s pink and has flowers all over it. That, and it makes my boobs look AWESOME. It has one of those front clasps where the tighter you pull it, the closer together your boobs become. Really great for cleavage shirts.

ANYWAY…

So I’m sitting on the bus, and I feel the fabric around my chest become very loose, and at first I’m puzzled but then it hits me: My clasp just came unclasped. The girls are on the loose! As I’m coming to this embarassing realization, I look over at the guy across the aisle from me, who is sporting the same awkward expression as I am and looking at my chest. I look down and see that the twins have become quadruplets. The bra’s cups are spread out, making it look like I have four breasts. Ack.

I panic at first…the bus is already on the way to campus. I can’t run back to my apartment or I’ll be late for class. My future is looking very bleak but then…a ha! I suddenly remember the sweatshirt I shoved into my bag on the way out the door. Only problem is, it’s pretty damn warm outside. What freak would put on a sweatshirt whilst the sun is beating down on her? This freak. I give a pretend shiver, for the benefit of anyone watching, and pull on my sweatshirt.

Smiling at my cleverness,  I get off the bus, roll my sleeves up, and make my way down Jeff Hill to Playwriting. I’ll have just enough time to run to the bathroom and reclasp my bra before class.

But oh no. The Lingerie Gods are not letting me get off that easy.  I hear a little *ting*, and realize that the metal clasp has just completely fallen off my bra. It’s at this point that I’d like to say: Really? And unfortunately, the answer is yes.

So I end up discarding my bra in the Putnam 2nd floor bathroom and free-boobing it around Athens for a few hours. The end.